I try to
surround myself with positive, inspirational people and activities.
I avoid things like trashy reality shows and destructive relationships. These things are poison for the soul.
But what if you are
exposed to this negativity in your work place? What happens when
necessity puts you in contact with the things you avoid the most?
I worked in a school
where it was common practice for teachers to get together and tell distasteful,
dirty jokes to one another.
Sometimes I left work
feeling extremely unmotivated and I just wanted to leave and never come back.
If you are in a
similar situation, fret not. As a Catholic girl I constantly reminded myself
that we are in the world but not of the world. That means that we are a part of
this world so we must have normal lives. We must go to work and mingle. And why
not tell a joke every once in a while?
That’s why I didn’t
isolate myself.
But I also didn’t
allow others to fill my mind with trash. I didn’t participate in conversations
I knew were damaging to me and contrary to my beliefs.
In the beginning, when
my co-workers were telling coarse jokes, I was quiet. I was among them but wasn’t
laughing. Sometimes, I tried changing the subject or even attempted to tell
lighter jokes.
To be quite honest,
it didn’t work completely. Some people will always like dirty jokes and we
might as well keep a safe distance from them, while always being polite and
professional with all our co-workers.
After all, charity
and good manners should always prevail.
But once, my co
workers made a somewhat disturbing joke about Michael Jackson after he had
died. I’m not a Michael Jackson fan, but I remember thinking “that’s not
appropriate at all”. That was the defining moment.
After that day I
didn’t participate on the jokes anymore. I still had to stay in the same room
with all the teachers, but I was always working on something else or reading.
One day, another
teacher came up to me and started talking. We became closer and
were always talking about our own interests.
That’s when I
realized that it’s better to have one positive relationship in your workplace
than a whole group of co-workers making you feel uncomfortable.
I learned that I
should try to influence others but sometimes there’s nothing to do but to walk
away – even if it means walking away by yourself. It takes a lot of guts, but
why should you dumb yourself down? It’s your prerogative to look for a positive
work environment and you shouldn’t give in to what the majority thinks.

that sounds horrible but I'm glad you found a way around it. When I was a teenager I worked in a couple of electronics factories where I experienced a bit of bullying. Like you I found people that I could talk to and maintain healthy relationships with. It was my workplace and not my life, I think that's how I got through it. I knew I wasn't always going to be working in those places.
ReplyDeletex
Bullying is the worst - how can anybody is expected to be productive under these circumstances?
DeleteI'm glad you could find nice people to connect with. You are right, it really is important to find satisfaction in other aspects of our lives and put our professional lives in perspective. xx
Mind you, my she-boss was trying to find a name for the new computer and she was mad about Mr. Satan. She lost. The computer will be called Chuck Norris (hehehehehe). It's not easy ...
ReplyDeleteLet me see if I get this straight: she wanted to name the computer Mr. Satan? She is basically asking for a computer crash everyday!
DeleteYour name is much, much better. It means a strong computer that's up for anything and can fight the good fight.
Great example of how to influence others in a positive way: by focusing on the benefits! xx
Update: the computers will be called Scarlett (for we won't be hungry again), one girl from Matrix (didn't see the movie, made me drowsy) and the other one is Chapolin. Much better, eh? XXX
ReplyDeleteHow interesting you guys name your computers - never seen that. Good names, though!
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